Cultivating Kingdom Life: On Earth as in Heaven

28

2009-03-12T06:04:00.005-07:00

Today I turn 28.

I wrote this a while back, in darker times, in a valley...

"Storms may come, and what the Enemy of our soul means to destroy us, God means to make us greater. Even the best fall down sometimes, but it’s the righteous man who gets back up, again and again. Warfare comes in seasons. In the heat of the battle, we hear the wisdom of the seasoned and successful warrior reassure us, “This too shall pass.” As we pursue the fullness of our inheritance, claiming the territory that rightfully belongs to the children of light, the forces of darkness may feel threatened and lash out. Fear and lies pressing in for our minds bear the fruit of weariness and hopelessness, but with God there is always hope. At times, it may be the best we can do to simply stay standing. But strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord. The storm will pass, a new day will dawn, and with a sigh of relief we’ll move on into greater glory."

As I look back, I can see God's faithfulness in a clearer way.

Even in the hard times, He's making us great, able to carry His glory, which we fell short of early on. I believe that the more we have eyes to see this, and believe it, the better equipped we are to persevere in the midst of the storms and the valleys.

But I don't focus on the darkness, the Cross, the minor theme of life. I lift my eyes to the light, the Resurrection, the major theme. The future is full of light and goodness, breakthrough and abundance, because of what He did for us.

There's always cause to celebrate. That's easier to say in a green pastures, quiet waters season, but its true in the valley as well. He prepares a table before us even in the presence of our enemies. They can't steal our joy.

A few verses come to mind...

"The Thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I came that they may have Life, and have it abundantly." (John 10:10)

"O taste and see that the LORD is good." (Psalms 34:8)

"A glad heart has a continual feast." (Prov. 15:15)

28...
Huh...
Seems like I've been living for quite a while already, but its only the beginning of the beginning.

Quote(s) of the day:

"Truth goes from your head to your heart through trials." (Kris Vallotton)

"We can't always help what happens to us, but we can always help what happens in us." (Kris Vallotton)

Little by Little

2009-02-15T14:08:00.000-08:00

"The LORD your God will clear away these nations before you little by little; you will not be able to put an end to them quickly, for the wild beasts would grow too numerous for you." (Deut. 7:22)

Its been another good month in the Kingdom...

I had the opportunity to lead a couple ministry trips for Kris, and they both went well (for the most part). We saw many people touched by God.

We were in southern California for one of the trips, and I got to see my family. In fact, we had the whole team (I think 12 people) stay at my parents house one of the nights. That was really fun. We made pizza, played Wii (hoola-hoop and ski-jumping rated PG-13 for sure), prophesied, relaxed, and just had some quality team/family time.

Here's a picture of us at Harvest Rock church in Pasadena:

(He doesn't look very happy, but Carl's just being a comedian)

One of the most helpful revelations I've received about the Kingdom at Bethel is how we take our Promised Lands "little by little," just how the people of God took their Promised Land in the Old Testament. It's encouraging to know that nothing is wrong with us just because we're not walking in the fullness of our destiny-- what we've seen of it. It takes time. Its a process. And its good this way.

We're given promises from God-- a destiny-- at the beginning of the journey. We're given a goal and enticed by the reward dangled before our eyes... "A land flowing with milk and honey." The promised land of our souls.

God says, "This is what is possible for you. This is what I offer you. This is for you. Go for it! Go get it!" These are exciting times, the early days when the seeds of destiny are being sown, when its all fresh and anything seems possible. As Bobby Conner recently told us, "Conception is the fun part. Its the delivery that takes work." In other words, receiving the seed, the idea, the vision, the inspiration, is the fun part. Its laboring to birth that vision into reality that takes strength. It takes faith and patience and perseverance. As the writer of Hebrews explains, it's by faith and patience that we inherit the promises.

Vision gives pain a purpose.

Jesus, our model, endured the cross for the joy set before Him. He endured pain and hardship to capture His vision. He fought with all His heart to inhabit the promised land of His soul.

There are enemies in our land that must be displaced if we are to live in it. Its our land. We're given it for free, as a gift. We have God-given rights to claim it. But we have to fight to actually live in it. Little by little, battle by battle, we increase in strength and stature. Cultivating faithfulness with what have, we prove ourselves ready for more.

I tasted a little more of the fruit of my land in this last month. I'm thankful. But I know there's so much more available.

Quote(s) of the day:

"Most of what you need will be brought to you. Most of what you want you'll have to fight for." (Bill Johnson)

"Sometimes joy sweeps me off my feet, but more often it courts me and asks for a decision." (Ben Patterson)

Arise, Shine (taken from my iPhone)

2009-01-11T19:57:00.000-08:00

"And there was evening, and there was morning, one day." (Genesis 1:5)

Evening

Morning

Quote of the day:
"What if sunrise and sunset tell the tale every day, remembering Eden’s glory, prophesying Eden’s return?" (John Eldredge)

New Year

2008-12-31T14:34:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year...

Far Too Easily Pleased

2008-12-28T20:21:00.000-08:00

"If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
-C.S. Lewis

This quotation changed my life 8 years ago. Our campus pastor at Westmont, Ben Patterson, shared it during a morning chapel service. It was my first year at Westmont, having transferred as a sophomore after a year at community college. I hadn't been in right relationship with God for years, but was increasing in my hunger to find Him and be restored to fellowship with Him. This quote was a seed that got sown in my heart, compelling me on my quest, inviting me into something better. Shortly after hearing it, within weeks or months (I don't remember the timing exactly), I had a life-changing experience with God. I attribute some of that breakthrough to this quote, and it has served to inspire me in the years since, and helped me to remember...

Life with God is a Journey of Desire. An invitation to more, and better. Its not so much about giving things up as it is about gaining reward. Its an invitation to let go of inferior pleasures for superior ones.

What did men like Abraham and Moses, David and Paul find? What were they living for? Something more? Something better?

How hungry are we?

We don't know what we're missing until we taste it. I believe in something better...

A few months ago I felt like God established a line of truths in my heart:

- God is better than we thought.
- The Gospel is better than we thought.
- Life is better than we thought.
- We are better than we thought.
- Our future is better than we thought.

Its worth considering...

Quote of the day:
"By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharoah's daughter, choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, considering the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking to the reward." (Hebrews 11:24-26)

Learning Obedience (Ouch)

2008-11-19T21:58:00.000-08:00

A few years ago I went through a season, which I affectionately call my "honeymoon" season with God, when things were easy. I had tons of time to myself to read, pray, meditate, journal, be still, hike, walk, soak, read, study, worship, whatever-- and I felt so close to God, on top of the world, at times.

It seemed like almost every day I was having new experiences and learning so fast. Remember that part in the movie "Matrix" when they plug Neo into that training program and he learns in moments what would normally take someone years? I kind of imagine my honeymoon season like that. Yes, there was effort involved, but it seemed like things were just happening.

Like I remember the first time I deeply connected with the concept of praise. I was on amazon.com and I came upon the book "Desiring God" by John Piper. The cover image of the book grabbed me, so I clicked on it to enlarge it. When I did, the image made such an impression on me that I raised my hands and just said, "God, You are great." Simple words, but when I said them I felt a rush through my entire being that was amazing! I wish it was always that easy...

In the last few years, life has just been different. A while back Kris said to me, "The honeymoon's over." Bummer.

Its felt hard. More like a daily grind. Three steps forward, two steps back.

"Why God? Where did You go? Did I do something wrong? What's going on?!?"

I've been on the verge of losing heart a few times. I've felt hurt, confused, mad (sometimes very mad) at God. I felt abandoned, even betrayed. As far as I could tell, I was walking before him with a clean heart, doing my best-- what I thought He wanted. But I found myself bumping my head up against the wall.

In the last year, I've found some language for my heart. I've told God, "I want to learn like a son. Why are you treating me like an outsider?"

What I'm asking Him is, "Why do I have to learn the hard way, bumping my head up against the walls? Why don't you just tell me? Why don't you make things clearer?"

Today this Scripture came to me, "Although He was a son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered." (Heb. 5:8)

Wait a minute... Jesus had to learn obedience? Jesus had to learn? He had to learn the hard way too, through suffering?

So then, what does it look like to "learn like a son" after all? It seems that even Jesus, the perfect son, had to learn the hard way. Trial and error. Pain and suffering. Bumping His head up against the wall. Can you imagine Jesus, like 16 years old... "Oops! Ouch! Dang... how'd that work out for Me?"

Mistakes are different than sins.

I know I'm walking on thin ice here, but this is my blog :)

Maybe I'm missing something, but it seems pretty clear to me... Sons, even the best of them, learn through the things they suffer. Wisdom doesn't come on a silver platter-- not even for the perfect son of God.

I have some thoughts about why it works this way, but I think I'll try to write about that at a later time.

Quote of the day:

"God defines us by the cry in our spirit, not by our attainments of maturity." (Mike Bickle)

Alaska

2008-10-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

This was a trip to remember-- my first time to Alaska. From start to finish, it was simply blessed. All flights and connections were perfect, I got to meet amazing people and hang out in one of the most beautiful places I've seen on earth.

Everywhere I went, I had the urge to take pictures. Eventually I had to just stop and rest and realize that I can't hold on to the Beauty with a picture. Its hard to enjoy the moment with that kind of grasping going on. Instead, I decided to mostly rest and just take in the full experience of this wonderful place and time, enjoying a glimpse of heavenly beauty, believing its only a small taste of what awaits us on the other side... I can hardly wait.

One of the pastors at Bethel, Paul Manwaring, invited me to go on this ministry trip with him. We were in Alaska for about 5 days last week. It was just the two of us, so I had the opportunity to get to know Paul better, which was great. I may join him again on ministry trips in the future. The focus of the trip was "strategic planning." We went to help a certain church in Wasilla (Sarah Palin's hometown!) with their governmental leadership and church structures. We met with the elders individually and collectively. It was interesting to see what is really going on behind the scenes. Real people with real struggles, doing the best they can, looking for Wisdom and words to propel them and the people they're leading to the next level. I mostly just listened and learned, though I did have some opportunities to minister as well.

All-in-all, a quality trip and experience that I am grateful for.

View from an elders' backyard #1

View from an elders' backyard #2 (a little while later)

We got to go flying over the Valley, over a glacier, and through the mountains. It was really nice.

We landed here by a glacier.

Flying right next the glacier! The richer blue indicates a recent break in the ice.

4 moose just hanging out in my friends backyard! This was the first time I have ever seen moose.

View from my friends soon-to-be kitchen window (only the frame is up at this point). What a view...

I had to try the reindeer sausage... sorry Rudolph. It was ok.

Quote(s) of the day:

- "We have permission to live happily ever after." (Kris Vallotton)

- "I know if Your eye is on the sparrow, then Your heart is on me." (Jake Hamilton)

Grateful

2008-09-01T18:42:00.001-07:00

I'm feeling grateful for my life these days, as I think back on my last two years here in Redding. Emerging from two years of solitude, my two years in society have been full of new lessons and new challenges, which have led to new discoveries and new growth.

I appreciate times of reflection like this. How else will we notice all we have to be grateful for?

I let my life get more cluttered in the last couple of years than I think was best for me. Part of this may have been a slip, but part was also intentional-- an experiment. I allowed myself to get in over my head to see what I could learn, to discover things about myself and God and life. It has been an exciting and painful process, but full of hope and promise. Discovering weakness isn't very fun, but discovering strength is. Either way, discovering what is real and true is of great value. I found myself saying, "Oh, so this is what Reality feels like... Good to know."

I'm feeling a refining of my focus these days, and I'm praying for the grace to be a more excellent steward of what I've been entrusted with. This summer I felt like God gave me this Scripture, "Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness" (Psalms 37:3). I'm desiring a more simple, focused life.

Quote of the day:
"The heart has its reasons that reason knows not of." (Pascal)

The Daily Adventure

2008-07-02T23:02:00.000-07:00

I have a friend who says, “Today is perfect,” and another who says, “It’s the best day of my life.” They say this about every day…

Every day can be an adventure, especially if we’re living from the heart. How much risk are we willing to live in? How much uncertainty? Can we let go of control? How much? We must walk out these kinds of questions with God as we learn to trust. By trusting and risking, we aren’t guaranteed a reward of everything going smoothly. Life is messy, and we have much to learn.

Living from our hearts, the lifestyle of risk, means opening ourselves up to increased amounts of pleasure and pain. As the potential for pleasure increases, so does the potential for pain. Things can get messy.

We may taste the thrill of victory if we’re willing to risk suffering the agony of defeat. Nobody likes agony, but what’s better? To ache now and then, or to be bored all the time? To feel something-- anything-- or to be numb? If we never risk standing up to bat, we’ll never feel the pain of striking out, but we’ll also never feel the pleasure of hitting the ball and getting on base-- or perhaps even hitting a home run!

We learn by trying, by moving, by engaging-- by taking a swing. We learn by doing it, by practice and experiment. When we try, we learn, and we get better at life. Pressing through the resistance of fear, we grow stronger, and we see better.

As we see, we move. That is, what and how we see determines what we do. As we move purposefully, we learn. As we learn, we see better. As we see better, we make better moves. As we move better, life gets better.

Daily we are presented with opportunities to choose the adventure or play it safe. There’s a kind of reckless abandonment to Life that can become addicting. Tasting this kind of life pulls us in deeper. We’re being pulled into a lifestyle.

If we find ourselves stuck in the swamps of boredom, we can start to break out by trying something new and taking a few risks. These can be small, but they will stimulate our hearts towards Life. As we continue pressing in, we can develop a momentum that will start to carry us deeper and deeper into more abundant living.

Our ability to love ourselves will largely determine our ability to persevere. Nobody else knows what it’s like to be in our shoes. Comparing ourselves with others is calling for deception, and it sets us up for discouragement. We know when something feels risky to us personally, and we know when we took the risk and went for it. What feels extremely risky for one person may feel easy to another. A major victory for us may not even be a challenge for them. We must be patient and kind with ourselves, believing and hoping all things, thinking the best.

Celebrate small victories. Don’t live in regret over missed opportunities or seemingly failed attempts. Our victories define us in Christ. The rest is forgotten.

Ultimately, the adventure is about trusting God. And we can rest in the knowledge that its not so much about the outcomes along the way as it is about enjoying the journey of walking with Him.

Today is perfect because when we’re living from our hearts, out of who we most truly are, we are actually already walking in our dreams (in some form/measure). We’re not waiting to walk in our destiny. We’re not waiting for the great adventure to begin-- for life to really start. We are living it today, participating in its progressive unfolding. Like the nature of the Kingdom in the earth, which is both here and continuously coming more, so it is with our dreams. They are here. We are in them now, and they are coming more into fulfillment.

The desire for “more” will likely pull us into challenges that we don’t feel ready for. The meaning of success and failure can become unclear, perhaps even irrelevant. We simply embrace the journey today, appreciating the moments we have-- continually unfolding with Opportunity. Today is perfect-- the best day of our lives.

Great Month

2008-04-27T21:46:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to do a quick update. I'll probably do a longer and fuller one after school is over, which is only about 3 weeks away. In fact, I graduate exactly 3 weeks from today!

This last month has been wonderful... I think the best since I moved up here. I had an awesome Spiring Break down in southern California!! I also had a good time in Japan a couple weeks ago.

Redding is really starting to warm up... feels great.

Life is good :)

Quote of the day:

- "When it's all been said, and when it's all been done, when the race is run, well it all comes down to love." (Misty Edwards)

Inspiration

2008-03-06T06:11:00.000-08:00

Inspiration: Fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.

I'll just share through the pictures...

Me and Akiane
If you haven't heard of her, you have to check her out. We were privileged to have her here at Bethel for our most recent conference, and I was personally privileged to get to look after her (and her father Mark) while they were in town. This picture was taken in the Redding airport right before they left. I figured I'd make it a little artsy in Akiane's honor. She's the sweetest girl. Someone asked me if I had a crush on her. If I was 15 years younger, I bet I would.

Here's some samples of her art. Here's one fact about her: "An internationally recognized 13-year-old prodigy, considered the only known child binary genius, in both realist painting and poetry." Check out her website: http://www.artakiane.com

This is one of her latest paintings, and one of my favorites. It's called "Inspiration" (followed by a poem by Akiane).

Reflections for “Inspiration”

The views expect my walking.
The perspective expects my effort.

There is no communion,
no joy
and no happiness
without true effort.

Mature thought
crosses all dimensions
and efforts.

The purpose of a vow
is quitting on impatience.

When both of your palms are in chalk –
you are a dreamer!

Inspiration is faith:
when unreachable is already reached
and inconceivable
is already conceived.

It is an effort
to make everything simple
for others.

Imagination
cannot be stopped
even with a bullet-proof mind vest.

Empress of all passions is love.

Whatever you create exists.
But without your possession.

Those that hunt migrational imagination
and wish what never could come true,
change impossibility to possibility
and become complete.
And become enough.

Imagination is a pathway for each broken art
and for each broken heart.

For a dreamboat,
even the waves show charts of direction.

Hope is a knot in a rope
that keeps us from falling down.

Everyone starts believing light
only at work.

Effort always crosses
the finish line.

"Tree of Life"
"The tree of life for me is a symbol of abundance and eternal life. For some the story is a fairy-tale. But for me it was a personal encounter experienced at the age of four that I completely forgot, yet oddly enough was able to depict on linen. I have no idea if this image is from the past or future, from my own experience, revelation or just my imagination. All I know is that somehow my hands have touched its branches, its fruit and the soil around."

"Mother's Love" (Akiane's favorite)

"Supreme Sanctuary"
"In the new earth I believe there will be a place where each of us will be able to choose and create a sanctuary for worship. I believe that certain things will be somewhat similar to the earth and many things completely different. This is the garden and a mansion I would like to plant and build. In fact, the colors in the original painting are so unique and mysterious that it was almost impossible to reproduce them for the print reproduction."

When she was 4, Akiane started having heavenly experiences. One time, a few years later, she actually disappeared for like 8 hours. She said she could see the police and FBI and everyone looking for her from above. Then later on she finally just appeared out of thin air, right in front of everyone! She said that sometimes she would be in heaven for hundreds or thousands of years, but it might only be minutes or hours of earth time. She talks about seeing worlds and galaxies and dimensions. I remember her mentioning a crystal world she's been to. She also said that in heaven, whole worlds were in a flower, and gems and diamonds.

The more time goes by, and the more I listen, the more I find myself believing all of this. She's just so simple, innocent, pure, guileless. She's a sign and a wonder. She says she has a mission from God, and that's what she's set out to accomplish.

Between the ages of 4 and 9, visions and dreams and heavenly experiences were like common, daily events for her. Then when she was 9, God told her she had to go through a "faith stage." So the mystical experiences she was having have toned down significantly, and she's learning other lessons.

We interviewed her for Kris' website. At one point he asked her, "Have you had any demonic experiences?" She said something like, "No, my body just doesn't allow that." We thought that was such a profound and fascinating answer.

"Prince of Peace"
When Kris asked her if she'd seen God, she said yes, but it was hard for her to describe him. I kept having this sense that many of the things she's experienced are either beyond words, or are too sacred to casually open up and share about. Describing God, she said something like how he was a very shiny bright light. I don't think she could share much beyond that, except about his eyes. She said that the whole universe, everything he created, is in his eyes.

Her painting, poetry, and life have stirred, provoked, and inspired me.

In connection with all of this, I heard that Kris recently declared that this is the year of the mystics!

Hilltop View #1 (Just down the street from where I live, I walk or ride by here often, usually in the early morning)

Hilltop View #2 (The trail leads down to the Sundial Bridge, which you can see the dial of over to the right. It's the long white needle looking thing.)

One of the best pranks I've ever seen. This took place up by where I work at Bethel. Somebody tin-foiled a whole cuby! And I mean the whole thing. Very well done. Somewhat inspiring.

Praying for Eric
This is our second year class praying for Eric Johnson's hearing. Eric is Bill's son, and he's been mostly deaf his whole life, but believing for breakthrough. A couple guys thought it was Eric's day for breakthrough, and so the whole class prayed for him. We didn't see his healing manifest, but something amazing happened right before my eyes. Shortly after we started praying, people started making some commotion. As I turned to see what it was about, I saw a good-sized feather falling. If you haven't heard about the feathers, they've been falling at Bethel for years. It's a sign and a wonder. I've seen many of them in my years here. When I first noticed this feather, it was floating towards Eric, maybe about 3 feet away. One thing we feel about feathers is that they speak of healing ("Healing in His wings"). Now even for those who might struggle with the feathers thing , or think it's in the air conditioning or whatever (I've been there), what happened next could not have been faked. It seemed like everyone realized what was about to happen in unison, and everyone kind of made a collective gasp. The feather floated down, down, down and finally rested right on the back of Eric's head! Right in front of me, right before my very eyes! I think that happened soon after I took this picture. God is up to something. It's the year of the mystics! Have you ever noticed how the words "mystic" and "mystery" seem very related? It's like, "Why these feathers God? What does it mean? Why would you make a feather land right on Eric's head when we're praying for his healing, but not heal Him?" I don't know, but there's a journey in the mystery.

I took these on a walk recently, at a local spot called "Lema Ranch." I get to live here!
That's Mount Lassen in the background of this first picture.

That's Mount Shasta in the background of this one.

Quote(s) of the day:

- "The normal Christian life is perfectly poised between what we presently understand and the unfolding revelation that comes to us from the realm of mystery." (Bill Johnson)

- "Having a renewed mind is often not an issue of whether or not someone is going to heaven, but of how much of heaven he or she wants in his or her life right now." (Bill Johnson)

Winter

2008-01-25T20:43:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been 2 months since my last post. I had a great time in southern California over the break. I got to spend time with my family in Orange County, which was really nice. We played lots of Nintendo Wii. I'm now a professional bowler and tennis player!

It was a restful time. One of the highlights for me was going in the spa at night. The weather was so nice and the stars were usually visible. The stars always seem to stir eternity in my heart.

Then I stopped in Santa Barbara for a few days on my journey back to Redding. That was great, as usual. There's something very special about that place for me. It's always refreshing. It feels like a bit of heaven on earth.

Now I'm back in Redding, back in the swing of things with school, work, and my life here. I see the things of my life as continually progressing and prospering... ultimately. Moments of clarity in the midst of the process provide fresh encouragement to press on towards my dreams.

This was the first picture I ever took from my new iPhone! (And all the following pictures, except the family shot, were taken from my iPhone) My family blessed me with this most wonderful gift for Christmas. I think I'm pretty much thoroughly converted to Apple at this point, and loving it.

Here's the fam: Mom, Brent, Kim, Me, Dad. Go Trojans!

Westmont... just makes me want to take a deep breath and give thanks.

Santa Barbara from the top of Gibralter.

I noticed this plaque embedded in a rock on the cliffs in Carpinteria. I can relate...

Santa Barbara sunset... simply beautiful.

This was the end result of our outreach time last week. We helped the kids make "the armor of God."

Boys versus girls (you know who won)

It snowed in Redding this week- twice! This is a rare treat and, though short-lived, it was fun while it lasted.

So far, 2nd year has been challenging, exciting, and quite revealing. I've learned a lot about myself and life in general. I sense God's faithful moving behind the scenes on my behalf, and look forward to what He has in store for me in the days ahead.

Quote(s) of the day:

"It's awesome when I do see. But for most of us, life seems more like driving along with a dirty windshield and then turning into the sun. I can sort of make out the shapes ahead, and I think the light is green." (John Eldredge)

"Vision gives pain a purpose." (Kris Vallotton)

One Step at a Time

2007-11-26T19:09:00.000-08:00

The last month went by fast. It's felt like just taking one step at a time, one day at a time. Enjoying life. Walking with God.

I've been listening to the song "Follow" by Jason Upton lately. He cries out, "I wanna hear Your voice... In the midst of the noise... I wanna hear Your voice... In the midst of the distractions..."

My dad always shared this Scripture with me growing up, and it has become one of my life verses...

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I love what I'm learning in school, in church, in books (including the Bible), conferences, teachings, etc. That's all great, and I'm thankful for it. But I don't lean on those things. I don't fully depend on them and put all my trust in them. Kris warned us, "You can be educated out of a relationship."

It seems like life works best when I'm leaning in to hear God's voice, and living out of that place of intimacy with Him. This song called "Words That You Say" by the band Something Like Silas has been in my heart lately... "I await the words that You say. I open my life. I'm longing just to hear these words that You say."

It's His presence, not His principles, that's my ultimate source. It's what He's saying, not just what He's said. It's living by the Spirit, and not just by the letter. I better live like this, because Paul said that the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life-- and I want life! Jesus explained that humans live by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.

I like how John Eldredge explains...

"Satan’s seduction of our heart always comes in the form of a story that offers us greater control through knowing good and evil rather than the unknowns of relationship." (From Sacred Romance)

"The only way to live in this adventure- with all it’s danger and unpredictability and immensely high stakes- is an ongoing, intimate relationship with God. The control we crave is an illusion. Far better to give it up in exchange for God’s offer of companionship, set aside stale formulas so that we might enter into an informal relationship." (From Wild at Heart)

"If you’re not pursuing a dangerous quest with your life, well, then, you don’t need a Guide. If you haven’t found yourself in the midst of a ferocious war, then you won’t need a seasoned Captain. If you’ve settled in your mind to live as though this is a fairly neutral world and you are simply trying to live your life as best you can, then you can probably get by with the Christianity of tips and techniques. Maybe. I’ll give you about a fifty-fifty chance. But if you intend to live in the Story that God is telling, and if you want the life he offers, then you are going to need more than a handful of principles, however noble they may be. There are too many twists and turns in the road ahead, too many ambushes waiting only God knows where, too much at stake. You cannot possibly prepare yourself for every situation. Narrow is the way, said Jesus. How shall we be sure to find it? We need God intimately, and we need him desperately… In all the ins and outs of this thing we call living, there is one narrow path to life, and we need help finding it." (From Waking the Dead)

We had the last week off for Thanksgiving. I had a great week. Lots of time to rest and reflect, read, think, catch up on school work, and spend some time with friends.

Here's 5 things I'm thankful for:

1. New friends
2. New Mac laptop
3. Old friends
4. Good books
5. Hope

Friday I got to go hiking at a place called Castle Crags for my first time. It's about 45 minutes north of Redding. The weather was perfect, the hike solid, and the company quality. What a great way to end a week of vacation! Seriously, you guys have to come to Redding. I'll take you hiking.

Here's a couple pictures...

This is about half way up the trail. We went up on that rock formation on the left. We didn't quite make it to the top because we couldn't figure out how, but we were close. That's Mt. Shasta in the background.

Here's the hiking crew. A couple of the new friends that I mentioned I'm thankful for are in this picture. Mary, who I'm standing next to, and Scott, the guy in the middle. They're really quality people. That's Scott's daughter in front, and then a couple guys I just met on the right.

I have less than a month left of school this semester. As much as I like it here in Redding, I'm really looking forward to heading down south for the holidays.

Quote(s) of the day:

- "Don't just imitate Christ--emanate Him... If you get your act together, it's still just an act." (Randall Worley)

- "If the Enemy can take hope out of you and make you mediocre, he's satisfied." (Eric Johnson)

Growing Pains

2007-10-18T05:22:00.000-07:00

Life has gotten full. Recently I realized that I have more responsibilities right now than ever before in my life. I think this is supposed to be a blessing? Sometimes I've had eyes to see it that way- sometimes I haven't. What is obvious to me is that I am growing. I'm learning, in a deeper way, to let go (I think especially of the need for control) and embrace the process as I walk with God in and through it. Kris says, "Between the promise and the palace there's the process." My thoughts go immediately to Joseph, who learned this lesson as well as anyone. My thoughts also go to David, and his process from the promise to the palace.

A few verses have stirred my heart lately.

Hebrews 6:11-12
"And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence so as to realize the full assurance of hope until the end, that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises."

How many great themes are touched on right there? Desire, diligence, realization, assurance, hope, imitation, faith, patience, inheritance, promises.

I've thought for awhile now that it's simply by faith that we receive promises, which I still believe. But it's helpful to know that patience is also involved. Perhaps, in theory, if I had enough faith, I wouldn't need patience, because faith would bring the immediate result. But, until I reach that place of faith, I will learn patience. One way I understand patience right now is as an embracing of the process between the promise and the palace.

I've also noticed something cool about the process. When I have true hope about something, it feels great, even before I receive what I'm hoping for. I'm continuing to develop a greater value for hope all the time.

Here's some other verses that have been stirring me lately...

Romans 5:3-5
"And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint..."

I'm after this thing of proven character that brings about hope, because I am convinced that the heart can live and breath and thrive in the context of hope, and that it withers, suffocates, and dies without it.

So how can I live with hope consistently, as a lifestyle? It seems the way offered here by Paul is to develop proven character through persevering in things I don't like about life. Facing reality and dealing with it, engaging it, entering into a process. I don't know how I could do this without the foundations God has laid in my life over the years, like grace and love, and the tools and weapons He's given me, like thanksgiving, praise, and declaration. The tools and weapons give me something I can practically do when I face and engage reality, to fight for what I want.

At the end of September I got to go on a trip with Kris out to the northern California coast. It was his first "Supernatural Ways of Royalty" conference- and it was powerful. In fact, I think it was the most powerful conference I've ever been to. What made it even better was Brent, my brother-in-law, got to come! We had a great time learning, experiencing God, and processing (there's that word again) together.

Here's a picture of Kris preaching at the conference...

A couple weeks ago I went down to southern California for my cousin Katie's wedding. It was good to reconnect with family.

The cousins... Pat, the big man in the middle, being the newest addition, with baby Paige, in the back right, coming in at a close second.

School is going well. We watched a Kathryn Kuhlman video last week that rocked the class. The video really captured something special- you could see Kathryn was lost in other realms, though she was physically there speaking. It was like her body was there, but her spirit was off in heavenly realms. You could see it in her eyes. If you can ever get a chance to see the video of her speaking at the Oral Roberts University graduation, don't miss it.

Yesterday in class, I think Eric Johnson put words to what many of us were wondering... "What was she seeing?"

Quote of the day:

"Part of dancing with God as He unfolds our destiny is coming to the realization that life doesn't arrive on our doorstep in a neat package... The 'feel' of destiny is so different when we finally realize it doesn't happen the way we thought it would or the way some fantasy book told us it would." (Mark Chironna)

2nd Year Begins

2007-09-17T18:06:00.000-07:00

This has been a good month so far.

I got to hang out in Idaho for a week with my family. It was a nice way to end the summer. We went rafting, zip-lining, played a lot of disk golf, hung out in the spa, got massages- all in all a solid vacation.

Idaho is beautiful. I spent a couple nights outside on the hammock, gazing into the heavens. I could see so many stars from up there. I thought about Abraham and how God told him to look at the stars and dwell on his destiny to be father of a multitude. I guess we are the fulfillment of God's promise to Abraham, that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars. It's cool to me that God chose to describe us this way. He didn't tell Abraham we'd be like the sand on the seashore, the trees in the forest, the grass, or pebbles on the ground- all of which could speak of a great multitude. But God said we'd be like the stars! I like that.

Here's some pictures from the trip...

Check out the misty river. I guess the water was warmer than the air, which created this misty effect (it was really steam). It was dreamy...

The Smurf Twins, ready to raft...

This river, the Payette, was cool to raft. For the last rapid me and Kim decided to be hard core and go for a 360 spin in the middle of the rapid! The guide said we had a 50/50 chance of making it, and we pulled it off perfectly. You have to use your imagination for that one though- no pictures being taken at that moment.

Taking a break at the zip-line course. Zip-lining was fun. The view was amazing.

Here's the view from the house we stayed at, which was a family friends' house. You can see the smoke in the background from the wild fires burning in the mountains. We actually drove through them on the way to the house. We saw things burning, and they were still letting people drive through!

So the day after I got back from Idaho, I started school. Still getting moved in, working for Kris, going to school, and a few other responsibilities I'm taking on this year that required my time, made for a really full week. I'm kind of a Nazi about my personal free-time, so it's taking some adjusting to make life work with these new things on my plate. But it's all good stuff.

Bill and Kris both spoke multiple times this week in school, which was a special treat. One thing that is very interesting to me is how the leaders can share stuff that seems contradictory. I think it has something to do with shaping us as students. One leader might emphasize one side, and then another the other side, so that it has an effect like rubbing a stone to make the rough parts in us smooth. And since truth lies in tensions, this is good.

Quote(s) of the day:

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." (Marcel Proust)

"Your call is to go on the endless journey of discovering God." (Corey Russell)

School of the Prophets

2007-08-18T19:35:00.000-07:00

I just had a very full but good week. I spent my days and nights this week involved with Bethel's "School of the Prophets," which I think was a dream of Kris' that is now coming true. Prophets and people who lead them come from all over the world to be a part of the school. There were about 250 people this year. I got to sit in on all the sessions. There were various speakers, but Kris was the most inspiring to me. I also got to meet and interact with some cool people.

Kris is carrying and, as far as I know, pioneering a radical message on apostleships. It has been messing with me more than probably any other message in the last year. He says that we, the Church, are moving from denominationalism to apostleships. It seems to make more and more sense to me every time I hear him speak on it.

In denominationalism, people gather because they agree. But in apostleships, people rally around fathers. An apostleship seems to make so much more sense. It seems so much better; so much deeper and enduring. It's a beautiful vision. It's based on love and relationship instead of agreement on cold doctrinal stances. It's about family. In an apostleship it's totally reasonable to say, "Yeah, I didn't really agree with the message this morning, but oh well. That's not why I'm here. I'm here because this is my home, this is my family, and that's my dad."

I've been working a lot on Kris' website in the last month, and this last Tuesday the new site was finally launched! So check it out. The address is:

http://www.kvministries.com

There are still some kinks to be worked out. Like I think it's too slow and it needs a lot more content added, especially to the media section. But it is up and running and functional, which is a relief. There is so much more that goes into having a website like that than I realized. It's not a simple thing. I coordinate with about 10 people to manage it.

My last few weeks have been challenging. I've had a lot of ups and downs emotionally, which isn't normal for me, and there's been a lot on my mind. But at least life is not boring, which I'm thankful for.

Quote of the day:
"God is not trying to keep you safe. He's trying to keep you from a meaningless life." (Kris Vallotton)

Summer So Far

2007-07-26T04:53:00.000-07:00

After some encouragement, I've decided to switch from xanga to blogspot. I think I like it better already. It was so much easier to set up, for one thing.

So far this has been a really good summer. I've been working more for Kris, and getting to do a little traveling with him. A few weeks ago I got to go to Atlanta with Kris for a conference. Bill and Eric Johnson were there too. I stayed with one of my roomates from this year who lives in Atlanta named Scott. We had a good time. I mostly worked at the book table 3 sessions a day, which was a full-time job.

Last weekend I hiked/climbed to the top of Mt. Lassen with a few other guys. I wish I had taken my camera. It was probably the most beautiful hike I've ever been on. Almost the whole time there was an amazing view of the surrounding area, and from the top you could see Mt. Shasta really well. It only took us a little over an hour to hike it, even though we were warned that it would take us 3 hours by someone at the bottom. They said 3 up and about 1.5 down. Maybe if you stopped at every lookout place and took your sweet time you could stretch it to 3 hours going up.

I miss southern California, and I don't know if I'll be able to make it down there this summer. But Redding has actually been nice, even the weather. Everybody warned me about the supposedly horrendous summer heat here in Redding, but unless this summer is abnormal, in reality it's not bad at all. It probably averages upper 90's to low 100's, but it's dry heat and there's normally some breeze. Besides, you've got mountains, lakes, and streams all around. I love living here!

Quote of the day:
"When the souls of men learn to rest in confidence upon the living God, peace will possess this world that will be like unto the kingdom of God --- heaven on earth." (John G. Lake)